Tuesday, April 2, 2019

It's okay not to hustle hard

I have debated sharing some version of this so many times. I have had this conversation with myself in my head over and over. I have worried my feelings might be misconstrued, but I just keep getting hit with this same idea. I couldn't let it go any longer.

I don't want to be a mom boss...

And that's totally okay.

You see, I think it is 100% A-okay to be a boss lady and hustle and set goals and achieve great things in your business. These things can be huge blessings to your family and to others, and that is a great thing! We have so many great products, resources, organizations, and ministries thanks to women who are driven to achieve big goals outside the home. We need these ladies!

However, I think it is also okay if your ambition lies in other places, like working part-time to provide income for your family but also trying to balance time with your kids. It is okay if your goal is to stay home and educate your children while creating a warm and inviting space for your family and others. It is okay if you just want to stay home and soak up every single moment with your little people because you can, and you know how fleeting your time is with them.

In a world full of "boss lady" t-shirts and "hustle hard" mugs, I am here to tell you: it is okay to choose a different route.

This is such a hard topic because the last thing I want is for it to seem like I disapprove of the choice to be a "mom boss". The reason I bring it up at all is because for a while I was feeling pretty down about the whole thing. I felt like maybe I was missing out on something because I didn't have that. It is easy to see the glamorous side of things when you think about how good it feels to accomplish goals. Validation is a great feeling. It is empowering to make that sale, finish that project, crush that goal, and cash the check. I totally get it. But I also know just how much hard work that all takes, and right now I am flat-out not willing to put the time and energy to get there.

I tried to build a small business after Henry was born, and it was going pretty well. I wrote a bit about it here, but what it boils down to is that a business takes a lot of time that I am not willing to spend away from my guys. Sure, I get a little crabby occasionally and need a little space some days, but most often I just want to be home with my people redecorating rooms and planning projects for our home and family. I love the idea of owning a business, designing a website, publishing material, learning, marketing...you get the idea. But what I love more is spending weekends going for donuts and groceries or maybe a trip to the zoo. I love the idea of being a successful business person, but I know myself. I know I am not at a point in my life where I am ready to commit the time and energy it takes to do it...and I am okay with that. For now I will expel that energy on being the one to make the doctor's appointments, sports pickups, and all the other things. I want to be that person, and I am realizing that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, despite the rhetoric I hear daily from much of the outside world.

Once I realized it wasn't because I couldn't do it but because I was making the choice not to, everything became so much easier. It isn't because I am incapable. It is because I am unwilling at this stage in my life. It isn't that I can't ever do those things, but I am choosing not to do them now. I see how quickly these two years with Henry have gone by, and I can't even wrap my mind around it. I don't want to miss any more moments trying to get ahead in a business venture. Those opportunities and ideas, though different, will be there when my children aren't so close. I may get run down, stretched thin, and all touched out some days, but I love my current position here at home.

I admire the ladies who are able to run businesses, juggle family and work, ask for help, and make big things happen. I can't imagine trying to balance all those things! I also realize that having the opportunity to stay home is an enormous blessing. I know not everyone is able to do so, and that is not lost on me. I am beyond grateful to be able to be right here for each and every moment so far.

Besides...I'm still the mom and the boss at my job. It works for me.



  1. I could not agree more! Thank you so much for sharing! I think this needs to be share even more. It is ok to want other things.

    1. Thank you so much for reading! I am so glad my feelings were conveyed. I admire those who are out hustling, but right now that just isn't for me. Thanks for the encouragement!


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