Monday, March 11, 2019

Welcoming baby #2: It will be okay, mama-Part II

I have been so blessed by sharing these posts about welcoming baby #2. I have had the sweetest comments, the most encouraging messages, and people sharing how they have been a comforted by others' stories. I cannot express how happy this makes me because my goal for this little blog has always been to encourage and uplift. I want to build a community of mamas to lift each other up. I want to give other mamas with different experiences than my own a platform to share their story because there is always going to be someone who can relate. I am immensely grateful to these sweet mama friends for taking the time to share their experiences.


Tasha H.

I started this blog with the purpose of building community and making connections, and I have been so blessed to meet some great people because of it. Tasha is one of the sweet mamas I have been lucky enough to connect with, and as a mama of two boys herself, I am so thankful she was willing to share her heart. She has the cutest little guys, the best hair, and an incredible drive to better herself and be the best she can be for her family.

Tasha blogs over at www.bytashahinton.com.

_____

How can I ever love someone as much as I love you? 

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I was filled with anxiety wondering if my heart was big enough to love more than one child with the same intensity. I thought- he is still a baby himself.  How will I be able to still give him all of me with the demands of a new baby?  Will he feel neglected? Will he think he is now somehow second place? 

My firstborn was only 13 months old when we found out we were expecting.  I had a lot of fears about having two children under two.  My oldest had to graduate to “big boy” status a lot faster than I initially anticipated.  He had to move out of his crib and into a brand-new big boy room and bed by the time he was 21 months old.  We had to make room for the new baby.  I often thought, how does he feel? Does his little mind think he is being replaced?

We did a lot to prepare my oldest for the transition.  We read a lot of books about what being a big brother would entail.  And I made sure to love on my baby boy as much as I could while it was still just the two of us.  I involved him in the process as much as I could.  As much as I wanted another baby, part of me just couldn’t shake wondering how I would manage it all.

All of these feelings magically disappeared the day we became a family of four.  My heart was so FULL I thought it would literally burst! I now had two perfect baby boys that were all mine.  I now had TWO baby boys to give me the love only a baby could in return. Double the pleasure and double the fun! 

Transitioning from a mama of 1 to 2 was not always easy.  It took some time to find our groove.  Heck- I am still trying to find our groove some days!  But I will tell you what, all the feelings I had wondering how I could love someone as much as I loved my first never crossed my mind again.  My heart stretched and guess what?!  So did my sons.  He now has his very own little brother!

The most rewarding part of this journey has been watching my oldest step into the big brother role.  He loves his baby brother so much and it is the sweetest thing to watch their bond develop.   I gave him a brother.  A best friend for life.  He has someone to show the ropes.  He is now a role model and I could not be prouder of him!  This is the best gift I could ever give him and now my heart cannot imagine how I could ever love anything more than I love these two.  Mamas are superheros.  We have more than enough of EVERYTHING to go around when it comes to our cubs.


Whitney B. 


Whitney is another awesome mom of two sweet boys. The age difference between her little guys is actually the exact same as Henry and Harrison! She is a ton of fun, has the cutest hair, and is about as real as they come. We could totally hang out. She juggles being mom and hairstylist all while sharing hair and makeup tips on her blog www.thebrunettebeauty.com.

_____

Adjusting to two babies was hard. As much as I thought I was ready from having my first boy, there were still SO many unknowns. But honestly, the anxiety leading up to it was the worst part of going from a family of 3, to a family of 4.  My first pregnancy was unplanned, and my second was planned. So you would think I would have felt ready! (Especially considering how much thought we put into the timing). I JUST got the hang of what I was doing with my oldest son, Milo. He wasn’t even 2 yet when I became pregnant with Mason, so he still felt like my baby! I was able to give him my undivided attention all day everyday. And I knew that was about to change, big time. He wasn’t old enough to understand what was happening, so I felt that no amount of prep for him would make a difference. I was so scared that we were shaking up his world (and mine). I suffered from post partum depression after I gave birth to Milo, it really rattled our world. So not only was I afraid to put him through that twice, but now my new son, and my husband as well. There were a lot of nights spent crying and worrying about the future.

The thing that kept me going was knowing that he would never know life without his brother. I can never play make believe, or action figures, or any of those things as well as a little brother can, and I was so excited for him to have a best friend. And knowing that eventually one day, they would be inseparable, made all of the doubts and fears diminish. Who likes a baby who mostly only cries and poops?? No 2 year old that I know. So I knew their bond wouldn’t be immediate. But as I sit here writing this, they are 4 and 2 years old. They are loudly playing trains and matchbox cars in the other room and I KNOW they were meant to be together. Just as much as I was meant to be their mommy, they were meant to be brothers.

Whenever I talk to my friends who are debating expanding their family from just one, I try to tell them that the BEST thing and the most loving thing they can do for their child, is to give them a sibling. And I believe that with my whole heart. No one will ever understand who they are and where they come from, better than a sibling. And some day, when my husband and I are gone, they will have each other.

It’s no walk in the park, and the thought of teenage years scare the heck out of me. But the chaos of having a house full of little ones has brought me the greatest joy I’ve ever known. And I know they would say the same about having each other.

Brittany S. 


Brittany is yet another mama I met through Instagram! I never would have dreamed I would find the connections I have on that little app, but it has been such a blessing to me. I know Brittany has a big heart and loves her babies fiercely, so when she volunteered to share, I knew she had to be a part of this project. Brittany handles working, being mama, and creating an absolutely beautiful home with a seemingly effortless grace, and we are lucky to hear her story.


_____                                           

It wasn't long ago that I remember having real anxieties and doubts about becoming a mother of two. Fast forward to the present, and I literally cannot imagine life without my second baby...she truly completes our family.

Motherhood is such an emotional roller coaster. No one can prepare you for this ride. When we found out we were pregnant with my daughter, Josie Rae, her big brother Charlie was only fifteen months old. We were so excited to be adding another baby to our family. It wasn't until towards the end of my pregnancy that I started to question how I could possibly love another baby as much as I loved my sweet Charlie. Everyone told me "you just will", but I knew that my love for my first born was fierce. I just couldn't imagine that love with another child. Not only that, but I also started having major apprehensions about how Charlie would adjust to a sibling. He soon would have to share his mama, which made me want to cry thinking about it. I soaked up every second I could with him as an only child, and before I knew it thirty-six weeks of pregnancy whirled by. I remember our drive into the hospital for delivery. The only thing on my mind was Charlie. Not labor, epidurals, or the anticipation of seeing that sweet newborn's face for the first time, but instead, I pictured something happening to me during the birthing process...Charlie not having me. Why my mind went there is beyond me, but it did, and it wrecked me.

Josie's labor was much quicker than Charlie's and before I knew it, I was holding the sweetest little 6 lb 14 oz angel in my arms. Seconds after birth, she was in my arms, and from that moment forward it was pure love. I think God just takes over and eases all fear and apprehension in the most amazing way. I never again thought about Charlie as being the "poor baby" having to share his mama, but instead, I knew he was a blessed big brother to the sweetest little sister. I never again questioned my love for her because there was immediately room in my heart for her. Watching Charlie become a big brother was one of the greatest gifts of this motherhood journey. The even greater gift is seeing the bond that my babies now have as toddlers. They are thicker than thieves, and their love for one another is second to none.

Babies change you, it's true, but it is totally natural to have your own fears and anxieties. While my two are still toddlers, I can only imagine the host of new fears and anxieties that I will develop over the years. At the end of the day, we all want what is best for our sweet babies. If you are expecting your second child, just know that you are not alone in your concerns...we all experience emotions during pregnancies, but also know that you are giving your first born the precious gift of a sibling. It's truly a gift from heaven, and just when you think you can't possibly love someone as much as your first baby, God opens your heart to baby number two. 


___________________________________________

I don't know about you, but reading all of these sweet stories has been good for my soul. I know things will be fine. I knew it all along, but it is so much easier to see that when you see the sweet sibling relationships and hear the words of comfort from mamas who have been there. Thank you to Whitney C., Adriane, Tasha, Whitney B., and Brittany for sharing your stories.

xo,
Katie

1 comment:

  1. You are such a blessing to me sweet friend! So glad we connected on IG and that I got to be a part of this amazing post. I’m so excited to “meet” that sweet baby soon!

    Xoxo
    Brittany

    ReplyDelete

Every Birth is Beautiful: Even the Really Hard Ones

(Harrison's birth story)  It has been a minute since I have posted anything. Really I feel like it has been a while since I have done ...