Monday, April 9, 2018

Right where I'm meant to be



Recently I had my sweet mama friend Lindsey write a guest post about being a work from home mama. You could say she nailed it. She summed up what a lot of mamas feel every day as they drop off their babies and go to work to provide for their families. I originally asked her to write a list of why it is hard to be a working mama, but she went above and beyond what I had imagined. She so eloquently poured out her heart and shared how she finds beauty even in the challenges of having a family and a full-time job outside the home.

It is a little embarrassing, but if I am being 100% transparent I felt a pang of jealousy for a moment. Lindsey seems to have it all together. She is a great mom with a fulfilling job, a strong support system, and she is making the most of every minute whether it is with her kids or a little self-care to stay motivated. She is juggling it all with grace and is an inspiration to any mom. It felt like she is balancing life beautifully, and I can't even keep the crumbs vacuumed off the rug when I am home all day long. I felt like I should have more accomplished when my husband gets home from work. I felt bad for sometimes looking forward to bedtime so I can have some quiet time. I felt guilty for often using wasting that quiet time scrolling my Instagram feed instead of being productive, and Lindsey, God bless her, is buying groceries and working out on her lunch break so she can make the most of her time at home with her kiddos.

Then I saw where a fellow mama commented on Lindsey's post saying, "While I constantly question if what I am doing is right, at the end of the day I know I am where God wants me to be. If I were to stay home, I would still question it. Being mom is hard whether you stay at home or work."


I have been thinking of her comment ever since, and it has been so good for me. It was just what I needed to hear, and I am thankful for her honesty. It is easy to have a "grass is always greener" mentality, but it all comes down to what works for each individual person and their family. I can appreciate and admire Lindsey's success as a mom and a career woman, but that doesn't mean I am not right where I am supposed to be. While I do admire her outlook, her ability to let go and let others, and the example she is living for her children, our families have different needs. We are wired differently, and God has different plans for us both.

I know I am right where I am meant to be. I know if I had to get ready to go to work tomorrow and leave my baby boy with someone else I would be heartbroken, but we all have our own normal. If that is what I needed to do, we would make it work, but God has placed us in a position where I am able to stay home and be present for every smile and every milestone as well as every tear and tantrum. I am beyond thankful for that. Since I am not staying home in lieu of a high paying career, this makes sense for us financially. Since my family is in Arkansas, me staying home allows me the freedom to visit and keep in touch without worrying about vacation days. Since I was not working full-time even before Henry came along, paying for daycare is not the most cost efficient option for us. My child was made just for me, and I am designed to meet his needs in the best way I can. Right now that means being home. Next year may look completely different, but I am doing the job I was made to do at this point in my life, and it is an important one. I am not doing it any better or any worse than the working mamas, and it is not a competition.


 I am sure I am not the only stay at home mama who has thought they might be made for more than changing diapers and picking up the sames toys 75 times a day. Working mamas may sometimes feel like they were made for more than leaving their babies each morning and feeling like they barely see them long enough to tuck them in at night.  And we are more. We are all more. We are more than our jobs, whether they are at home with babies or 45 minutes away with coworkers who feel like family. We are mamas. We are mamas who are doing our best to honor our most important title. We are mamas who work hard at whatever we do, and we need a community of other mamas to build us up and encourage us. So if you are a working mama who wishes she could make after-school pickup, you are doing a good job. If you are a stay at home mama just trying not to lose your crap before nap time, you are doing a good job. It doesn't always feel like it, but you are. When you feel like you aren't, seek a friend to lift you up. When your kid takes an extra long nap, and you feel like you are walking on air, take that time to encourage someone else. We all need a cheerleader every now and then.

You are doing a good job, mamas. Keep doing the best you can, and your babies will keep loving you for it.

-Katie


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